Did Arsenal hypnotise Sanchez so he couldn’t score for United?

How else can you explain the Chilean’s dramatic loss of form?

I have a pet theory, no wait, hear me out. It is that before letting Alexis Sanchez join rivals Manchester United, Arsenal subjected him to some form of shock aversion therapy to prevent him scoring for his new team. Scoring would make him feel sick or his legs would go weak before kicking the ball. Some kind of hypnotic influence.

How else can you explain how one of the best foreigners to play in the Premier League has gone from hero to zero? When with the Gunners he scored close to every other game – 60 goals from 122 appearances. Now he is struggling to hit the proverbial cow’s arse with a banjo – three goals in 32 games for United (about one for every 11 appearances) and since going out on loan to Inter Milan this season his tally is one goal in five appearances.

Admittedly, the player dubbed El Nino Maravilla (The Wonder Child) has been dogged with injuries of late. But this explains the lack of playing time, not the lack of goals when he is on the park.

Gooners must be laughing themselves silly. When Sanchez “did a Van Persie” and moved from Arsenal to United, the Gunners’ fans must have feared a similar outcome. They need not have worried. After the move, Sanchez simply hasn’t performed. He has struggled to find a pass, let alone a goal.

And now I read that United are talking about bringing him back to Old Trafford at the end of his loan period in Italy. If they really think he can do a job for them they should be looking to get him back now (though, that said, I believe the terms of his loan do not allow it and, anyhow the window for transfers is now closed).

No, Alexis is a one-team guy and that team is Arsenal. United should sell him back to the north Londoners so they can remove the spell he’s under and return to goal-scoring form. At the moment The Wonder Child is playing more like The Wonder Why.

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David Buckley

Dave Buckley is a career journalist. “I once went painting girders for a week and discovered I didn’t like heights,” he says. “Apart from that it has always been journalism for me in one form or another.” Past publications worked for include the South-East London Mercury*, Kent Messenger, Daily Express, Today*, News of the World* and Hong Kong Star*. All those marked with an asterisk no longer exist (trend emerging?). He owned and edited a Thailand-based property magazine before returning to England and currently works as a production editor for an East Midlands-based publishing group.

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